When someone does something to hurt you, delibrately intending you harm and sadness, you should forgive them. This I have been taught since I was very young. However, does forgiving them mean you need to let them back into your life? I recently had someone close to me do something I thought was extremely disrespectful of me, and our relationship. Without going into details, he violated my trust. Now, a little time has past since this incident, and forgiveness has been asked of me, as well as a return to friendship. I have a hard time allowing myself to even think about trusting this person again. Is this wrong of me? In some relationships, people are able to forgive quite a lot of things, and they attempt a return to trust. I do not see myself as one of these people. If someone were to do something such as cheat on me, there would be no other option other than leaving that person, in my mind. I would probably have to struggle a long time to even forgive that person.
Knowing this about myself, I sit and wonder if this trust violator should ever be my friend again.
4 comments:
I think that you have heard my rant before, but I honestly believe that men and women cannot have a significant friendship without one or both people having/developing an attraction for the other person. Remember, I am speaking from the male point of view, if a guy wants to continue a friendship that means something different that a platonic friendship.
As someone that cares about you, I want to best for you so, go the other direction and don't look back, he doesn't deserve you anymore.
I think it is very possible to forgive someone and yet redefine the relationship. Forgiveness does not necessarily entail going straight back to where you left off.
I'd say that he has a lot of character/maturity issues to work through before he can be trusted at a deeper emotional level.
Thanks all of you for your words of encouragement. This is definitely someone I longer call a friend. I am civil, but I really do not believe I am obligated to emotionally invest in someone that will never put anyone but himself first. Sigh.
Big lesson.
I'm beginning to think I'll need a year at Bethany Bridal College once I'm done here...lol
Here's another option I thought I'd send to you: http://www.missionyear.org/
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