When someone does something to hurt you, delibrately intending you harm and sadness, you should forgive them. This I have been taught since I was very young. However, does forgiving them mean you need to let them back into your life? I recently had someone close to me do something I thought was extremely disrespectful of me, and our relationship. Without going into details, he violated my trust. Now, a little time has past since this incident, and forgiveness has been asked of me, as well as a return to friendship. I have a hard time allowing myself to even think about trusting this person again. Is this wrong of me? In some relationships, people are able to forgive quite a lot of things, and they attempt a return to trust. I do not see myself as one of these people. If someone were to do something such as cheat on me, there would be no other option other than leaving that person, in my mind. I would probably have to struggle a long time to even forgive that person.
Knowing this about myself, I sit and wonder if this trust violator should ever be my friend again.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Greater Good
When I think about my future occupation, I always in some way imagine it will be trying to help others, whether it be working as a school teacher, or for an NGO, or the Foreign Service. Wherever God decides I would serve him best, I remind myself, is what I will do.
I was discussing what my ultimate working dream would be with my aunt the other night, and I revealed to her something that I have been thinking about for a long time, but that I had never really shared with anyone. I shared with her an idea I had for a school specifically aimed towards educating teen moms. Most of the time, when faced with pregnancy and the ultimate responsibility of raising and caring for a child when you're a child yourself, teen girls are forced to leave school to work as single moms, or depend on welfare for the entire period of raising their child. Unfortunately, it continues a cycle of poverty and a dependancy on our system. Very few of these girls are fortunate enough to have the support of family, or someone to look after their child so they can finish school. Many face the scrutiny of Child Welfare, and are in danger of losing their children because they haven't the slightest idea what they are doing. What I hope to achieve with my strange idea is a home and place of education for pregnant teens and new moms, where they could receive the best parenting support and teaching, learn to bond with their new bundle of responsibility, and get to continue high school all under one roof. I know its a strange sort of idea for a 21 year old university student with a minimalist dating record, to want to save the misunderstood, misdirected teenage girls of society, but for some reason I am really drawn to this idea. Nothing like this exists in Canada today, a residential program aimed at ensuring the most sucessful outcome for mother and child. Because one makes a bad decision does not mean you should be labelled and made to pay for that decision the rest of your life by joining the stereotypes of the welfare single mom. I just have to look at my aunt to see that with the right support and encouragement, you can take on the world, no matter your situation. She started out pregnant at 15, a mom by 16, and could very well have spent her life living from support check to food bank assistance, struggling with poverty and various behavioural issues that arise in children in these circumstances. However, with help, she managed to finish school, get through college and, though not without some struggle, become the CIO of Red Cross Canada, the mother of a successful 34 year old Jennifer, who herself is the mother to 5 wonderful kids.
With former foster parents for a Mom and Dad, I have seen my share of kids and babies taken from their homes, homes that lacked parenting skills, usually any drive to better themselves and were run in abuse. I have seen the worst that can happen, and want to formulate a way to keep it from happening, if even for only a few families. I have no real idea how I can bring this idea about, as I have yet to complete my own degree, and its certainly not in How to Open your Own School for Disadvantaged Young Mothers 101. This would require much funding, research, more funding, teachers, parenting coaches, many different things that I have no access to, but maybe one day I will. Maybe Oprah will decide that this school is the next one she'll open, here in Canada! Hehehe. At any rate, it's something I find myself contemplating while I watch graduation loom ever near.
I was discussing what my ultimate working dream would be with my aunt the other night, and I revealed to her something that I have been thinking about for a long time, but that I had never really shared with anyone. I shared with her an idea I had for a school specifically aimed towards educating teen moms. Most of the time, when faced with pregnancy and the ultimate responsibility of raising and caring for a child when you're a child yourself, teen girls are forced to leave school to work as single moms, or depend on welfare for the entire period of raising their child. Unfortunately, it continues a cycle of poverty and a dependancy on our system. Very few of these girls are fortunate enough to have the support of family, or someone to look after their child so they can finish school. Many face the scrutiny of Child Welfare, and are in danger of losing their children because they haven't the slightest idea what they are doing. What I hope to achieve with my strange idea is a home and place of education for pregnant teens and new moms, where they could receive the best parenting support and teaching, learn to bond with their new bundle of responsibility, and get to continue high school all under one roof. I know its a strange sort of idea for a 21 year old university student with a minimalist dating record, to want to save the misunderstood, misdirected teenage girls of society, but for some reason I am really drawn to this idea. Nothing like this exists in Canada today, a residential program aimed at ensuring the most sucessful outcome for mother and child. Because one makes a bad decision does not mean you should be labelled and made to pay for that decision the rest of your life by joining the stereotypes of the welfare single mom. I just have to look at my aunt to see that with the right support and encouragement, you can take on the world, no matter your situation. She started out pregnant at 15, a mom by 16, and could very well have spent her life living from support check to food bank assistance, struggling with poverty and various behavioural issues that arise in children in these circumstances. However, with help, she managed to finish school, get through college and, though not without some struggle, become the CIO of Red Cross Canada, the mother of a successful 34 year old Jennifer, who herself is the mother to 5 wonderful kids.
With former foster parents for a Mom and Dad, I have seen my share of kids and babies taken from their homes, homes that lacked parenting skills, usually any drive to better themselves and were run in abuse. I have seen the worst that can happen, and want to formulate a way to keep it from happening, if even for only a few families. I have no real idea how I can bring this idea about, as I have yet to complete my own degree, and its certainly not in How to Open your Own School for Disadvantaged Young Mothers 101. This would require much funding, research, more funding, teachers, parenting coaches, many different things that I have no access to, but maybe one day I will. Maybe Oprah will decide that this school is the next one she'll open, here in Canada! Hehehe. At any rate, it's something I find myself contemplating while I watch graduation loom ever near.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Its Paper time!
The next month is going to be one crazy ride! With 6 papers due within a 3 week span, my mind is all ready reeling with the thought of enduring all this writing!
I complain and say its just not fair, its too much work! I am usually reminded, however, that this is not unfair, unjust, or some all powerful university god-like Dean trying to make my life miserable, but something of my own design. It really is my all my fault, for a) taking on a double major and b) choosing two majors that require vast amounts of reading and tedious paper-writing. When you put it that way...eep.
Yesterday I had a meeting with my academic adviser to plan my graduation. AHH. A year from next month, I will be graduating from university! I have conflicting thoughts about this, ranging from yes it's almost over, to what will I do next? I'm also umming and ahhing over what my chosen career will be once I'm all done. The plan is teachers college following graduation, but what if for some freak reason I don't get accepted anywhere? what then? what can one do with a history and english degree? Not that much, unsurprisingly. Its going to be an interesting year, attempting to find what roleI'll get to play in life. All I can really do is leave that all up to God. I'm sure he'll give me hint eventually. I hope.
In the meantime, I will continue to be distracted by the great book I just bought at chapters, you know, instead of preparing for the essays I have to write!
I complain and say its just not fair, its too much work! I am usually reminded, however, that this is not unfair, unjust, or some all powerful university god-like Dean trying to make my life miserable, but something of my own design. It really is my all my fault, for a) taking on a double major and b) choosing two majors that require vast amounts of reading and tedious paper-writing. When you put it that way...eep.
Yesterday I had a meeting with my academic adviser to plan my graduation. AHH. A year from next month, I will be graduating from university! I have conflicting thoughts about this, ranging from yes it's almost over, to what will I do next? I'm also umming and ahhing over what my chosen career will be once I'm all done. The plan is teachers college following graduation, but what if for some freak reason I don't get accepted anywhere? what then? what can one do with a history and english degree? Not that much, unsurprisingly. Its going to be an interesting year, attempting to find what roleI'll get to play in life. All I can really do is leave that all up to God. I'm sure he'll give me hint eventually. I hope.
In the meantime, I will continue to be distracted by the great book I just bought at chapters, you know, instead of preparing for the essays I have to write!
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