Lately, I've found myself lingering over Martha Steward magazines, home design shows, how to raise a family guide books...Its been an odd time.....I find myself day dreaming about how I'll decorate my future house, and buy Living magazines because I love the garden on the front, and want to start "collecting" good ideas.
I'm not sure what is doing this to me: this overwhelming need to be housy and what not is becoming quite strange.
Even stranger: Today, my friend Ashley and I were discussing her pregnancy. She's 20 and 4 months pregnant, and just heard her baby's heart beat for the first time this morning. Now, she'sgot a pretty reliable boyfriend who is excited about having a baby...But they're going to be relying on her parents for a lot. She works at Mcdonalds, has her high school diploma, and most would say the situation is a little grim. But Ashley is sooo excited for this baby, so filled with joy and wrapped up in the entire process.
Normally, I would be one of the people thinking, wow, poor girl, this is an awful situation, I can't even imagine having a child that young...blah blah blah....But with all honesty, listening to her talk about it tonight made me extremely jealous. I had this overwhelming sense of loss at the idea that I'm not having a baby any time soon. Call me crazy, but I think that reaching the age of 20, and not having my own home, and the prospect of starting a family soon, makes me feel like I'm not accomplishing what I should be yet.
Talking to other friends my age, I've come to realize that my generation is going back to the early marriage and kids idea. The trend for the last decade has seen women get married later in life, have kids even later than that, sacrificing those things for careers and all that Jazz...But more and more of my friends are getting married quite young, ready to set aside education to have their families, and complete school at the same time in some cases.
All this makes me ponder, am I being backwards here? Should I continue to strive to graduate and get a good job, establish myself, and then worry about love....Or am I missing out? Should I just drop it and hunt down a man just incase all that striving causes me to miss out?
Who knows....I'm going to continue buying my little home and garden magazines, and stick post its with notes on what designs and furniture I want, and what page you can find them on....But I don't think I'll be dragging a guy home to ensure that there will be a next generation of kelseys just yet....
9 comments:
Hi Kelsey,
I don't know if you remember me, but I've been reading your blog ever since I followed the link over from Ryan's blog.
For what it's worth, I'm 28 and having the same feelings. Biologically, it makes a lot more sense to have kids first and get your education and career underway later. If I don't start my career until I am 45, I still have 20 years ahead of me before retirement age hits. But I can only have kids for so much longer. If I had it all to do over again, I think I would put law school on hold and have kids first. Or do law school part-time while I was starting my family. I'm 28, starting my third post-secondary degree, and I wish to be nothing more than a mother.
But then again, I don't think it's very healthy to switch into marry-or-bust mode just yet. I knew some girls like that in college, and as a general rule, they either ended up single or unhappily married. Nothing is scarier to a man than a woman who has her wedded life all planned out and is just looking to snag a man, any man, for the role of groom!
But there's no harm in looking at pictures of gardens. I like gardens.
Yes Jule ann, I do remember you!
Its such a balance of what to do, what not to do...I guess its more of a go with life, and take what it gives you
I'll say I gladly don't have kids or am married yet. When I was going out with Nat way back then she'd ask about marraige and I'd just say 30!!
There are quite a few people from back home though who are gettin' hitched. At first it was a surprise to think that young, but then again, my grandparents were married at 19 and 20.
But for now i'm happily working in my field and where I am now, I'd have no chance of supporting a family yet. If I did have a family, i'd have to go out and get a real job and you know me, There ain't not no real job out there for me!
But my ultimatum is that if I don't get somewhere in the next three years i'm moving out to the country to start a farm with a local economy vibe to the whole deal. Then i'll change my name to Cotton Eye Joe and finish every meal with a suckin on a piece of hay.
uh huh!
Oh J, Thanks greatly for the imput! I know alot of kids getting married back home, and its freaky!
Lucky for you, you don't hear the sound of a biological clock ticking, like us girls...its why we talk about marriage so much, cause we know, only a few years to reproduce and give the world a part of us...lol....bah
The only biological clocks I have tell me to stay away from overattached females as they tend to devour your soul.
So i'm listening to my biological clock closely :)
Only two thoughts to share
1. In regards to home/garden magazines, REAL SIMPLE is superb
2. I do not believe in the idea that when you are in your early 20's, you're too young to get married and have chilren. Phooey! Who decided that 28-34 is the perfect time to start having kids anyway? Look at what extending the phase of adolescence has really resulted in, not much good. Wanting to get married, raise children, and create a home are perfectly natural desires. And so are pursuing an education and working. Both are worthwile and not necessarily mutually exclusive.
Remember that your big brother should have a say on the guy. Love you Kelsey.
Haha, ok Ry, I'll keep that in mind. You can even marry us, that is, if you're ordaind to do that.
Oh and Ry, I love you too
Post a Comment